_PurpleSnow_AliAnAooi

Back to where I stop

2010-04-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

This is the latest me in the year of 2010! Taken this in Ng Yin Ho's ride. Once again I will start blogging about all my nonsense thoughts, not too sure if people were to read it and feel the same like I do. Gonna start after this update, same same my life is always this SUCKS!

Hurting Inside

2010-04-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Blogging this sitting outside my apartment balcony, heavy rain just stopped like 15 minutes ago. I have so many things being kept away from the one I love and those I care, is 702am now and i couldn't sleep even though Im tired. The reason being is because Im feeling hurt inside, like someone is grabbing my heart and wanting to pull it out. I wanna cry like a baby now, but I couldn't.. It makes me even more unsettled, this feeling I had it one and a half year ago when the one I love hurt me and left a scar that I believe is still not healing. I desperately want it to heal and just be like how I used to be, the chilling type where I won't suspect my BF of cheating. After that incident I swear it changed me hell a lot, I became so paranoid when the feeling of suspicious hit! Yet I tried to hide it and pretend like is okay. Call me stupid but when you love someone this much what shit you are not willing to go through? I don't check his phone, I don't stalk his computer, I don't question him where he goes ( sometimes I do when I snapped ). There are many reasons why I still with him, 1st Im curious what future holds between him and me, 2nd I wanna be his joy to see him smile and be there for him like how I want him to be there for me. Im not selfish, I just want him to treat me like how I treat him.. but i know sometimes is hard for a guy to act like a real gentlemen. Go back to why I feel shit and hurt inside, I feel that this relationship of mine is not going anywhere further. We don't do what normal couple do, like traveling to somewhere near only the both of us, enjoy a nice dinner only the both of us, go out as a couple to any of our friend's events, birthdays, gathering or so on and so fort. I don't get to appear in any of his friends invites, he won't join me in anything if i asked him to. He only appeared in my aunts house for dinner once.. and only that once. There is nothing he is willing to do for me and only me, not even when i ask him to. He never stay with me at my home for about a month plus already, I dunno the reason why is because I didn't ask. I sometimes wonder why is he still with me when he doesn't do much. If he think he has given his best, Im sorry to say but he could do better than that. I feel like letting go so bad is because Im so tired of pretending Im actually happy with who he is now, I know Im lying to myself. It hurts so bad that I want all of it to end, but first I have to get hurt even worst by breaking up with someone I love and move on from there. Im scared he will forget who i am and who i was in his life. This cannot continue, everyone knows it. He used to stay up late and wait for me to finish work and pick me up from work den bring me home to his place. Tonight was different, I took cab back from KL Zouk back to PJ at 2am.. he didn't wait for me to reach home and den only sleep, while I was on the way.. he msged saying he's gonna K.O now and msg him when Im home, now is 738am I didn't msg him when I reach home.. he didn't call. I dislike a lot but I still wanna be with him this is my fucking problem. Im hoping for a change in him that i have been waiting for a very long time. Yes, Im still waiting.

Living in the shadow of love

2009-12-09T09:59:00.000-08:00

I don't wanna be living in the shadow of love, i cant bear myself being treated this way.
In my mind and soul i just wanted normal love like anyone else,
he told me am not giving him enough time with his friends. But i barely spend time together with his friends,
all this while i didn't say u couldn't go out, but going club all the time without me, what will i have in mind?
it feels like i am not part of your life. It feels like i am something u are ashamed about,
issit because i not up to your friends expectation.

Dinner Time!!!

2009-02-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

This is what i've been cooking to feed myself and baybee donkey = donkye. It doesnt taste so bad afterall.ahaha. Anyway this is just part of what we eat.

London my snow dream came true

2009-02-17T18:23:00.000-08:00

Since when I was a lil girl I found out what my chinese name means, 'Yellow Purple Snow' direct translate in cantonese will be 'Wong Chee Shuet'.That is when I start having a passion in snow. How would it feels like to be shower with snow fall?. Here I am in London where I have my dream came true. First day when I reach here was 1st of february and the heavy snow came the day after which is on the 2nd of february. Am happy because london itself didnt have such heavy snow since 7 years ago. I consider myself really lucky to experienced snow in london.=)

rainy day fer me..

2009-01-24T12:06:00.000-08:00

I dunno why im feelin sad and not happie nowadays. I just wanna be someone happy and dun need to worry nuts about anythin. Eventually, i cant be. Sometimes somethin already happened and it will haunt u for life, there is a scar in my heart towards alot of things. I used to be strong in handling myself and my love life. Now? Its pretty hard for me to face myself, I cant face myself. I know what's right and what's wrong, yet I still make the wrong choice. My friends says that Im stupid and why I choose this when I deserve better?. Im running away from the fact, Im running away from reality. I really dun wanna see myself end up like my mother. She's too perfect for a women and she gave her life to a wrong wrong man, that is my father. Since I was a kiddo my mom, grandma and my aunt always warn me about boys, now that Im a lady they all warn me about man. I dont listen to them and I always go against what they ask me to do. But when I have a few big incidents happened in life that has got to do with man, I turn my back and ask for they're help. Slowly I understand what they're trying to make me understand all along. I've learned that no matter how much u think u can trust someone, DONT! by end of the day they will betrayed u. That is what happened to me recently, i love my bf a lot and I gave my all because he showed me that he was diff from others in the beginning . I made a big mistake, I trusted him with all my heart. In the end I was the one that was hurt deep within.

funnie faces.

2009-01-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

I know i got button nose. But i like it thooooo. Im having holiday mood dee that i dun feel like working. Im leaving for london on the 1st of feb 09 woooooohoooo! And i get to visit my mommy in holland europe. Hehe! enjoying nee...

(^_________^)

2008-12-11T12:15:00.000-08:00

Dont make me angwee anymore ahhh baybee. Slap and smack ur bum bum next time. hmmph!

Getting this when im goin london next year feb and go europe visit me mummy there.

2008-11-17T12:44:00.001-08:00

swimming swim swim.

2008-11-17T12:06:00.000-08:00

what we did this day was play water fight in mel mummy's condo. jr is a smart boy. he just hav to push me at my head and i fall. make me drink all the dunno-got-pee-water or not.

ObViouS Am TryIng To Be BitChhY.

2008-11-11T08:38:00.000-08:00

WaitIng fEr U to ComE bacK!!!!!! 33 more days to GO!!

Kent event @ Bar one.

2008-11-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

mandy and nana taken this during work.. very obvious we are slacking......

BMW golf international tournament @ Mines

2008-11-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

I wanna learn to play Golf after working for all the Bmw league. nice nice.

Nana and ashley in the Buggy that we drove all day.

This Energy bar surprisingly it taste good ya know? plus is HEALTHY!

*Wicked Laugh* Ash ash.. i did ask for ur permission to pose this up.. see the pink pink stuff stuck at the braces? its the dragon fruits we stole to mum mum at the half way hut. Sooooo funny ok ash!! i almost laugh my head off.

not so happie...

2008-11-07T22:35:00.000-08:00

last night was not a very happie day fer me.=( had a small lil arguement with fat teddy. sigh~

Sam Sam!!

2008-11-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

you always look so innocent sam... why la why? dont be vegetarian anymore!! go get some fresh MEAT!

2008-11-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

Soooooo Nice ehhh?!!!!!! haha.. Miss NatNat and Dione Both mua Bitchesz.

Taken this in Jaya 1 Chulo Bar and restro.. thanks Nat baybee for inviting muaaa..

Hav a lil champagne and chillllllll ya'll..

sad sad day 14th oct 08

2008-11-06T09:42:00.000-08:00

The day where i saw him walking away from me further and further. I counted the steps that he was walking in2 the departure gate. It feels like im drowning after i know he hav to let go of me and pursue his education. From that moment on i told myself to be strong and everythin is gonna be alright. Im still thinking of u everynight before i sleep. I can feel ur warm breath beside me when i almost asleep. Ur smell still hang around in my bedroom. Im waiting for u to come back and hug me once more.

NEW HAIR CUT!

2008-11-06T09:40:00.000-08:00

During work also can be CAMwhore. Not bad huh me?

2008-11-06T09:34:00.000-08:00

2008-11-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

This was taken when i just came back from Japan Narita end of April. Japan is such a WONDERFUL place to shop!!! spend 7 days there for work and SHOPPINGY! i miss my baybee so muc for that 7 days. Download the song 7 days without u. Nice Nice=)

Hickies fer the Funny.

2008-11-06T09:10:00.000-08:00

Crazee? not easy to do such thing. My tongue was like..... u know? swallon.. swear im not gonna do that anymore!

All this thingy that happened 2 days before my birthday and on my birthday.

2008-11-06T08:47:00.000-08:00

Choya Lauching at Sunway.

2008-11-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

I feel old!!! guess how old is this gurl? she's onli 17. GURL we had some fun there aight? free drinks all night. hehe.

2008-11-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

This is the amount of lighters and ciggie boxs i found in my bag that day in starbucks! yesh! i am shocked too! Tee Hee!

2008-11-06T08:01:00.000-08:00

Nat nat darling! u look sooooo small with the big glass.. yorr yorr. This was in Tony Romas cineleisure.=)

2008-11-02T02:22:00.000-08:00

I like this bracelet from Hermes paris. Something different from others i see. Nice Nice. =)

2008-11-02T02:20:00.000-08:00

MISS BAYWATCH 2007.

2008-11-02T02:10:00.000-08:00

This was taken in Singapore last year Christmas Eve. Spend my Christmas there with my beloved baybee Teddy. I wanna be there this year again for Christmas baybee.. can wee can wee? pweaseeeee...

2008-11-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

Please fast-forward time.

2008-10-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

7 more weeks and ill be able to see my special sumone. I miss him so much that no words can be created. I miss cuddle-ing with him and i miss his smell on my bed everynight b4 i sleep. Without his noise in my bedroom is like winter without snow. Your face appear almost everytime i dream, it makes me feel so empty here.

2008-10-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

Must matching matching with my bag..

2008-10-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

I Lurve This BAG!! swear im gonna get it...

Darling, i Miss You

2008-10-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

As the tears swell up deep in my eyes
For once in my lifetime I feel alive
Dwelling on the past, I will not allow
The fears I once had mean nothing to me now

"Let go of the past and think of the future.", they say
They don't know what its like being afraid every single day
Afraid of losing the one that you love the most
The only thing I want right now is for us to be close

He means everything to me, but does he know?
Can he sense the feelings that I just can't show?
I want him to see how much he changed my views
He's just someone I would never want to lose

Candies

2008-10-27T13:43:00.001-07:00

wish u’d bring me candies when i feel lonely
dream tat u were my husband-to-be
in three hundred sixty five all i ask is one name it after me
wish u’d write my name on ur fav palm tree
look in my eyes love is all u can see
night and day i dream tat thing are da way before
will u love me more?
where when and why did u make me cry?
loneliness has become another part of life
tears running strong and angel hav gone
dunno how to carry on..
baybee i need ur arms to hold me tight tonight
see my body glow whisper and flow
i need ur strenght to hold me down tonight

My eyes wont lie

2008-10-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

if rose is green and grass is red
will u remember wat i said?
baybee dun forget before u regret
stuck in my mind a needle tru my head
the light u shine in to the night
u take away my fright
and fer everytime i see u i try…
wat i try to say is stay wif me tonight..
fer wat i really feel inside
my eyes wont let me hide

Treasure

2008-10-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

Snow
I dreamed of snow in June
Its quiet embrace
Holding us white and unconnected to the world
A floating dream of kisses and snowflakes
Icy hexagons are stacked up on my sill
No footstep in the drifts
The harsh metallic ring resounds
Of spade on frozen ground
Bow your head
Here comes a hearse
And on it lies my heart, still warm
and loving...

****************************

I wanted to love you,But I was just too scared.Haunted by the past,
That always seemed to reappear.
I tried my best to run and hide, But I just couldn't get you off my mind.
Should I give love a second chance?Or am I just wasting my time?

Hardware shop at ikano no no

2008-09-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

We were suppose to shop for BIG BIG icebox. But we shop for buy-no-use-item like the gardening hat?. Sam Sam... Haahaa!